Category Archives: Being creative


Well what can I say.

If you do not know by now I will let you in on a not so secret = I have BPD/BP as well as physical disabilities which is temperamental just like me.  I was diagnosed a very long time ago as a manic depressive then BPD  and then BP and now I am who I am.

Now do not take offence if I say I am nuts because I am in more ways than one. The first part is being scatty which is nothing to do with my mental state but I can tell you this for nothing it certainly does not help. I am very open about my mental state especially as I go up and I go down and up and down in the space of hours of each other and then I have weeks of each other.  As well as being scatty I am forgetful, silly, crazy, fabulous, glitzy, colourful. Those are my good points the bad I could tell you about but instead just ask me.

I can not believe that even in this era there is so much stigma.





The world is so dark, dull, deary and in despair. Adding your colour can only brighten the sun to shine on you and make people smile. I am lucky not to have negative people who do not understand or know me. I take strength from my friends and just how wonderful they are. BY THE WAY YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I am blessed that people are kind and especially patient with me. People see my mania and tell me to chill and some see me when I am dull and they breathe and colour me in.

Everyone knows some one who has or has suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts, BPD, BP, OCD or SAD or many of the other mental health labels we can be given. If you don’t then someone is keeping quiet, WHY WHY are they quiet. Do they think you wont like them any more or understand them or ignore them and dump them. Their silence speaks volumes.

One thing we have stopped doing is talking and listening and before you say we do we do!!! STOP AND THINK !             BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!!              ASK YOURSELF AM I!!!         We are not perfect we slip up and forget to catch up with our friends especially when they are quiet and we do not hear from them. I am terrible for it, and I need to lead by example so I messaged my dear friend Danielle today and it was just a quickie but we will be meeting up properly for a good chin wag and a splurting of guff.

Now I am going to leave on a good point

Thanks to Lisa Marie I have been inspired

I am finding my inner colours and its oranges yellows and reds for now and I will take it.






Phew I can breathe again. I can see a future of harmony with peace within and calmness. My body feels light and my shoulders do not feel so heavy.  The days ahead seem to be brighter, my friendships more open and life is a feather following the breeze of a whisper. The air cleaner the sun brighter and the nights cooler.

The fog is clearing and my mind is quiet. For me that means being happy. Suffering with Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder can be physically and mentally exhausting and keeping paranoia at bay takes a whole lot of time everyday. I do not think there is a day gone by when I have had not to keep paranoid thoughts diffused. People do not realise just how much time I spend a day just dealing with my paranoia. There are times when I believe in my thoughts and I have to spend hours dissecting them to get to the truth.

Anyway I do not want to talk about that. I want to concentrate on the next few days and enjoy this time of cloudy clarity. I am looking forward to tomorrows Art Therapy even though it is not therapy it is a time for me to be Satty.  I so miss being creative and losing myself in whatever medium I use to pour emotions onto a blank canvas.

I am doing well with my Eat for Health losing 2 lb last week and cant wait to get on those scales but I do have to say I have been naughty went to a BBQ round my friends and had such a lovely time laughing and doing henna. Also looking forward to fingers crossed Bournemouth if there are spaces just need a day away from the stresses of my mental health and a day at the beach me and a good book. The sand between my toes and the sun.



Monday Feeling

Its been a while since I last blogged I have been trying to stay stable after therapy finished a few weeks ago. I have had days of clarity especially on a Monday. That’s the day I spend the morning with fellow artists drawing drinking cups of tea and general having some me time.

I can easily get lost in a drawing or in a poem especially if it comes from within. Helps the darkness spill out in tiny dribs and drabs. Everyone is so talented and I am privileged that they spend time chatting to me and they make me laugh. I don’t do that enough, I wish I could. They inspire me and help the goodness pierce through my skin to brighten up their days, well I feel like I do. We only have a few weeks left and when the class ends I will continue to be creative within my life as well as help with the homeless.