Last Wednesday I went to my first BP UK GROUP. I was really nervous which is so not like me. At one point before the group started I was outside having a cigarette when I thought, right let’s go home, however my legs were stuck to the ground.
I made myself a cuppa and then went into the main hall, took a seat and also a seat for my tea. May as well make myself at home. The group started and we went through the code of conduct and then One of the gentleman talked about something but I couldn’t hear anything apart from my heart beating as loud as the biggest drum. Paranoia was trying to invade my thoughts and as much as I wanted to walk out a small part of me wanted to stay.
After an hour we had a tea break which was what I needed. I felt as ease after that break. I am not sure what shifted within me but I was glad not to have to spend my time fighting with my mind.
Then a bicycle pump which was made to be the talking stick went round and if you had something nice to say about the last month you could tell the group. I can not tell you how much I was dreading that stick as it got closer to me.
BANG MY TURN
All of a sudden I spilled the beans about my life, my turmoil, my loneliness and the fight within. Everyone was so lovely and many gave me feedback. That was it. Now I just wanted to run but I did not. I took the advice and I breathed.
Next they did a raffle and I won a pir of socks which I will be giving to Jason, my Big Issue seller. The group finished and I made myself another cuppa and sat down. I spoke to a lovely lady whose name I have forgotten then Natalie arrived and asked me how many metal fillings I had. Apparently Many countries have banned metal fillings because of the lead, which still omits toxins which scramble the thoughts with in. There is a dentist in Bournemouth which helped Natalie with Homeopathic remedies and she since had no invading thoughts. I must get my fillings out.
Afterwards we heading down to the bar and I had a coke with two ice cubes and we chatted with other fellow members and I felt a release and I did not feel alone. I can not thank BPUK and the lovely coordinators of the group. I can not wait until next month and the month after that.
If you have Bipolar and would like to know more about the support group by visiting the Bipolar website http://www.bipolaruk.org/. You can email the group on firstname.lastname@example.org or telephone them on 0333 323 3880.