The last few weeks have been very tough on me mentally. I have had not so nice thoughts but they were thoughts and not actions, which at times has been challenging not to act upon them but I think of Ethan and I jut know I could not do it to him. He is my rock and so is my God.
I am finally on the up and my mind is racing ten to the dozen. I have too many thoughts whirling and twirling in my mind. So many ideas to help the homeless, what painting I will do next, doing major housework and the Christmas decorations and then there is the newspaper, Dee Park, Oak Tree House and the best job is spending time with Ethan. I do miss that he does not need me as much now but we still snuggle on the sofa and watch a movie. I do have a problem at times sometimes my body does not want to listen to my head and do what I want to. For instance take this evening my head is alive and I want to do some housework but my body is saying YOU GOTTA BE JOKING. So what will I do, write a blog.
I love this part of my mental health (I know its a gimme) especially my manic side. I’m filled with the joys of winter, the rustling of leaves, the rapid changes in the sky. The beauty of creation is outstanding and for me there is only one person to thank for that……….God. I am blessed that my life is a good life. I know I do not have my health but I have one thing better than Health I have God. He is taking me to the place he wants me to be. I know where I am going now and thankfully I have met some amazing people who are well I will say it again AMAZING. I know I can not wait for tomorrow but I do need to sleep first which I can not see happening any time soon.
I am unable to know how long I will feel this way but I know tomorrow is going to be bright with a shower of smiles, comforting hugs, seasoned memories and glimmering giggles.