Today I went out on my weekly donation day. I had to go out on my own today as my colleague Aileen has been unwell and Mandy did not want to go out on her mobility scooter in the rain.
I got donations of 8 Curry with rice tubs, four different types of loaf cakes, Jaffa cakes, flap jacks. All freshly cooked this morning by Amira and Rachel. I also took two food parcels for Simon and Jason. Leather hoodie jacket two pairs of extra large trousers and three T-shirts. Four bottles of water and toiletries for anyone who needed them donated by Sarah and Deb and a bag full of knitted hats and snoods. That is all I could carry in my two trolleys.
Even though I was on my own I did not feel on my own. I had a smile on my face and knew God was with me. Today we helped Jason, Charlie, Jamie, Lee, Donna, Emma, Declan, David, Geordie and three other men whose names I can not remember. I felt really bad at the end of the run because I had ran out of food and all I could give them was a few cigarettes.
How do I feel now?
Now that is hard question to answer. I feel great that we could help people who actually needed help. However I always feel I could of done more but the reality is that is all I could carry. I was grateful that I was well enough to go out especially as last week my tooth was in agony and I was sat in the dentist’s chair. I am sat in my lounge with the television on watching Extant, cup of tea on the table and cigarette in my hand. However I know that there are people out there in a car park or a doorway, alone and cold.
It breaks my heart knowing that they are there and I am here.
When I was homeless, begging was not an option so I stole food from the shops in Slough’s Queensmere shopping centre. I also stole items that people wanted so I could make money to buy cider to keep me warm. Luckily I was not on the streets long.
I was able to get off the streets and straight into a probation hostel in Windsor. I got my life back and have a good life a wonderful son and an amazing bundle of love from family and friends.